Bleepbloop. Bleepbloop. Is life calling you again, why don’t you pick up?
Is raining outside? Why don’t you go out?
Leave the chair/couch/house and go out and taste the rain.
“Wandering is the activity of the child, the passion of the genius; it is the discovery of he self, the discovery of the outside world, and the learning of how the self is both “at one with” and “separate from” the outside world. These discoveries are as fundamental to the soul as “learning to survive” is fundamental to the body. These discoveries are essential to realizing what it means to be human. To wander is to be alive.” ― Roman Payne, Europa: Limited Time Edition
Because I am having yet another of those dark nights filled up with a yellow light and an strange desire to clear out my FB friends list. From there to looking at my timeline was just a small step, a little click on my memory lane a big step in realising I am a completely different person then I was 4 years ago. I though I haven’t changed a bit, but ohhh!! how much I’ve changed. FB statuses with hearts and inside jokes at 2 am? ME?
Anyways at least I still had a good taste in music 🙂 So this song is dedicated to my 184.108.40.206 +infinite upgraded version of me.
And this one as well, because I cannot stop scrolling down that blue wall. Can I change the color or just make it full with dust? Like magic dust from the cosmos or something? Yeah, yeah, I need sleep.
The big circle is moving again. I hear weird sounds around me, outside, inside, everywhere. And that thing doesn’t want to stop. Now it shakes, I think the world will come to an end. I can feel the vibrations everywhere in my body. I touch it. The movement gets faster and faster and it interrupts the beats of my heart. Now I don’t know if my heart is running somewhere or the big circle is moving things all around.
I lie down, staring at the curious thing in front of me. It stopped. Silence. Peace. I stand up, the hell is over, there’s nothing. I walk slowly away and the floor starts shaking again, I run back to it, I hit it, I start screaming and kick it harder and harder. Why are you messing with my mind, what are you doing with my body, WHY don’t you just stop. What are you, who are you, what’s going on?
All of these questions appear like some bad subtitles that were just messed up by some sick person all over the screen. Little dots, black and white and I cannot stand the sound, I will walk away. What’s going to happen if I just don’t care and move on with my day? I can go outside, just sit on the porch and watch all the little creatures flying around.
But the noise, ohhh the noise. What is wrong with you strange creature, why are you so fast, why are you making me dizzy after seconds of looking at you? Why are you trying to crash my world with your fast step? Again. More questions and no reaction. My head is now attached to the big circle, is so cold, I don’t think it has a heart. How can he or she or it? No, is a monster. I walk away tired of the feeling of emptiness that clangs to my head.
I am dizzy, I have no orientation. The chair is down, who gives a shit, the end is near. There’s water on the floor, did I spill it? Probably. But I don’t care, everything is shaking. I run, I bump my head on a door, was this door here before? I start screaming again. I wish someone was here with me to explain what’s going on. No one is around. Maybe if I just lie down on the couch everything will be fine.
I woke up and fell way better, the sound is gone and I am alive. I should eat something; I need some energy to get through the day. I don’t have anything in the house, just leftovers, it doesn’t smell so iami. I need to get something else, but the door won’t open. What the hell, am I still on the couch, am I dreaming? This door doesn’t want to move. Open you big wooden hard thing, why won’t you open? The world is hiding from me again, I’m stuck in this empty house with a monster and bad food. Great, just great.
I think I am not alone here, someone is starring at me. I can feel it, I can see it now! It has a weird figure and it doesn’t move. Maybe if I get closer… No, he is doing the same. Is this a game? You are scarring me, leave, please. Pretty please? I close my eyes and run away. Maybe I can just have one more look, maybe it was all in my head, is just my imagination. Slowly, just another step, don’t get to close, just stick your head and look. He is there, doing the same thing, he is messing with me. I will jump on him, I will take you down bastard! I jump, it hit me, it hurts, I have to run. Run away; don’t look back, save your life!
My heart is beating really fast, am I having a heart attack. Is this how it feels like? I need to go to a safe place. I will go to Vic’s room, I know I shouldn’t be there, but is safe there. And cozy with that big fluffy bed. But I am not supposed to go there, Vic will get pissed, he is not home. But we are friends and I am scared and I can hide there. Open door, move, yesss! I am inside…
Wowww the bed seems bigger than before. And there are so many pillows. I just wanna jump on them, he will get pissed. No, I shouldn’t, I should step away. I cannot move, the big one is hypnotizing me, calling me. Come, come lie here, I am so fluffy and warm. Yes, I can hear you, stop harassing me! Maybe just for a minute, he will never know. Ok, just a minute. OMG, this is so soft!!! Ohh, my back is itching, yeahhh scratch it red thing, oh yeah there, and there, yeahhh!I wonder how you taste like, I am so hungry, you look so delicious. Yes, I was right, you are so good, it feels like heaven in my mouth. I think I hear some music. Did someone just say jump? WOWW, is like a party. Jump, jump, everybody jump! I am in the air, and down, and again up and down. I didn’t know this is so much fun! Jump, jump, everybody jump!JUMMMPPP!
I hear some noises…Vic is back. Oh, no! The pillows are everywhere, I have red stuff on my nose. No, don’t come here.
He is calling me, I have to say hi to him. He will kill me, yeap, I am dead. I should have known better! I see him, he looks so happy to see me. Oh, the warmest hug ever.
– Yeah, I missed you as well, you cannot believe the day I had. There was a monster and then I had just some smelly food and I couldn’t get out cause there was a weird dude in the house. I almost died, it was terrifying. Oh, dude, and I have to tell you something. Like, I know I shouldn’t be in your room, especially on your bed, but I was alone and going crazy. Dude, please don’t get pissed at me.
Omg, he is going there, omg he is there. Now he is screaming. Yeah, yeah, just get over with, yeah, yeah I am bad, yeah, yeah. But I WAS ALONE and scared. OK, I will never do it again, I promise.
– Please,believe me I will never do this again.
I feel like crying, I hate it when you’re mad at me. I will listen to you from now on, you have my word. I am crying, I am too sentimental for this shit. Ok, ok just give me a hug it will be better.
-Dude, stop calling me a puppy, like for real. I am big, I can take you down in a second. You know I can always do it. Yeah, you wanna play, ok, I will put you down and give you a big, wet kiss on your face.
So funny the way he is always making that face when I kiss him. His face gets all wriggled and strange shapes appear around his nose and lips. But I like it, and he loves it I know it. Vic is my really close friend and I love him. We have a special connection.
– But, really Vic, I am a big dog now, just accept it, I grew up, I can even live alone now. But I still need you, can you get me some food? Like some steak or something, you will never believe what happened to me today…
Virtual insanity as Jamiroquai’ s song says that’s the world we live in. Yesterday I was peacefully drinking my coffee in a little coffee place i use to visit a lot. I had my eyes rolling down on some golden pages and one of my hands in my fluffy little ball of fur. My dog, you dirty animal!
Anyways, as I was sitting there the silence around me caught my attention and I raised my eyes from the last word on the 25 page. At the table next to me, four young people. I assume young as all of them were drinking mate and still had that silly spark of innocence on their forehead. They were not talking, just tipping quickly on their phones. At one point one of them, the one with a little start of ginger beard started laughing and pointed to the girl next to him something on his phone. Laughs again and then “You have to send this one to me!Now, I wanna post it in Instagram”.
And then I felt old and boring. A book is a no, no compared to a really smart phone that shows you lots and lots of pictures and words and infinite wisdom. I felt old and sorry for the “new generation” that will not experience the first kiss on a bench in front of their house door, but on Facebook, Instagram, Whatsupp and so on through an emoticon. Muahhhh, kiss, kiss, a virtual kiss to all of you. Let’s celebrate our virtual insanity with a virtual kiss and a virtual person.
no matter how much you try to have a virtual life that’s not enough. Yes, it feels nice to see those notification pop up on your facebook account, but stop and think a bit. There are just little lights that last a second, a glimpse and then they disappear somewhere in the big hole of the internet. How about actually meting some real people once in a while, how about staring into that girls eyes and tell her how beautiful she is instead of an like or a poke or whatever internet flings tell you to do nowadays.
Nothing can replace that moment when you spill beer on everybody from the table (by mistake, of course) and then you start laughing uncontrollably. Nothing can replace a touch, a stare, a moment shared with actually living people who share with you moments of their life and make you apart of something more meaningful then a chat on the internet.
My mind was wondering these days about the meaningful meaning or something like that. What is meaningful for you, what is the definition of this word in your mind?
5. Hahaha, gotcha! Did you really thought I do something interesting after? Do I seem like the cool type? Yes, awwww thanks, i am crying inside.
But in the real life I get a little more of step 2 and then a little more of this:
Because yes, I am really tired after 8 h and some of work and at this age cannot afford to have a social life any more.
In some good days, I admit, I might hang with friends at my house, their house, someone’s house and do this:
but what I am actually thinking around 11-12:
4. The clock ticks again and YESSSSS 6 o’clock is here!!!! let’s get our freaky on!!! ZBANG!
If you didn’t get it, my work hours end at 6 and I do this at the office. Break all the mirrors or whatever I can get my hands on and disappear into thin air in my cool outfit. Because my life starts after work!!!
(see step five tomorrow to see how you can be this cool too)