A guide to survive when your women is PMS-ing her minds out

Thoughts and words

Ladies, so is that time of the month all over again, right? Yes, that period of time when everything is messed up and you wish you had a different part down there. Is time to bleed and bleed and BLEED! No, we are not bleeding in love, we are actually bleeding guys! And there is no one there for you, nobody understands your pain , especially the MEN, lucky bastards!

Now a little voice is screaming in my mind, and only the years of practice makes me powerful enough to keep that scream inside me. But YOU can definitely tell when a women is PMS-ing so if u are a man leaving around a women in this condition I advice you to STEP AWAY while u still have time. Don’t talk, don’t breath, don’t fucking dare to eat the last cookie because hell will get loose.

My advice to you is to come home with chocolate, flowers, a smile on the face and a good movie. Just shut up for a couple of days and I promise you, you will not feel the craziness of the PMS.

Your flatmate is PMS-ing? Then buy chocolate and leave a funny note for her in the morning. She will stay away from you and just drown herself in the sweet, melting drug.  The same advice goes for when your sister is going through the hell of bleeding again. Avoid her and if u bump into her and she has fluffy eyes and drowning in a pot of ice cream, don’t judge, don’t dare to laugh! Just smile and walk slowly away. If she says something nod, just agree to anything and compliment her, like her hair is really nice, is that outfit new? bla bla bla you know it!

If your significant other is PMS-ing, then things can go so wrong….in so many ways… like the worse can happen any time and the beast can appear all of the sudden. But you can avoid this, you just have to follow a simple rule: make her happy!!! Ohhh  yes, SHUT UP!!!

Again, buy her chocolate, lots! Tell her you love her a lot, yes in this case u can speak! Tell her that she is beautiful. Prepare her a nice bath, with roses and that shit u see in the movies. Don’t argue! Just do it! Think about little things that makes her happy and do it. Go to a nice restaurant, concert, movie, whatever, just try to make her happy and smile and forget about the millions knives going thorough  her vagina. Because yes, that is how it feels like. Like you are all about to explode and  the blood, Ohhhhh you can see the redness everywhere and did I mentioned the pain, yes, the excruciating  pain like someone is punching you all the time in the stomach hard, much more harder then Fight Club, that’s nothing comparing to menstruating. Try to live with that every month and try be nice to people in the same time and not kill anyone. NOT POSSIBLE!

But now, how can you tell the women next to you is PMS-ing? This are 5 signs you can look after:

1. Is she really emotional and starts crying every time she sees a puppy or a baby or someone kissing or hugging? Is she watching the last episode of Grey’s Anatomy even if she is not such a big fan and cries for an entire hour? Is she just crying without any reason? Yes, she is PMS-ING!!!

2.  Is she really moody? Now she is crying,  the next second she is laughing her lungs out, then she is screaming you left the glass in the wrong place and then she starts throwing shit around because you don’t understand her? Yes, you got it, she is definitely PMS-ing!

3. Is she asking you a lot of questions about her look, about your feelings, about your childhood traumas or hers. Does she want to cuddle a lot and just hold hands or hug? Yeah, she just might be there. If she asks you for anything, i mean ANYTHING even going at 2a.m to buy her m&m’s or to go downstairs to buy her tampons, DO NOT REFUSE! Refusal is a very, VERY bad idea and it only allows the little red devil come outside and play and not in a nice way….

4. Or on the contrary she kicks you and starts screaming when you want to do that romantic move with gently brushing a lock of hair from her face. NO, DON’T TOUCH HER! If she doesn’t initiate it, DO NOT DO IT!

5. Is she really lazy, without energy and all that she do is going to the fridge to take another ice cream or to devour that chocolate or cake or cookie, or anything that has sugar in it? Yeah, she is definitely there and you should be sure there are a lot of sweets in the house, like all over the house, What the heck get a gingerbread house!

The best strategy is to track her cycle and know when it’s coming. Yes, you need to note it down somewhere. Like in your agenda, with big red letters or better put an alarm so you know what to expect when u are arriving home and know what to do! Always be prepared for the Prehistoric  Monster Syndrome!!  See the video below if u didn’t understand anything… BE ALERT! And remember to watch the first time you see her like that and take notes cause that information will be  pure gold for the rest of months cause each woman with PMS has her own personal pattern of symptoms.

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