Where is my mind?

Dreams are made of..., Music, Thoughts and words

So, I haven’t been posting anything for a while, maybe because I was too busy, maybe because I was too lazy, maybe because I wastoo sick. Any way or another that doesn’t count so much but I made a promise today I am going to start a new project and hopefully I am going to stick with it. I am going to write. I love to do this, haven’t been doing it for a while and never in English so let’s see how this works. I just know that I need to do this. Real or fiction here it goes.

Stop.

Once upon a time there a was a little girl that loved to run from her problems, she loved to run whenever things got to hard for her to handle, when thinks got out of control or whenever she thought there might be a little chance she might get hurt. When things got really shitty she decided to run far far away from everybody, from her family, from her friends, from her country so she packed everything and just went away in a little city full of strangers. At first the silence was all that she needed, the new faces down the streets, the odd buildings and strange smells everywhere. She felt in love with the idea to escape herself and be another better person. In the beginning she thought she will just be invisible and not meet new persons that just might disappoint her or she will do that to them. So she preferred to hide in her little bubble and pretend she was ok with that. She got new, superficial fake persons around her, went partying a lot and lived second by second blocking every bad memory. Everything went well for a while until the sharp needle of loneliness mixed with the sour taste of the past stabbed her right in her little brain. Then the chaos began.

Wait.

I love the hilarious tinkles that a cold night brings to my skin. I love the strange vibration my body gets whenever I hear a good song or see a great movie. I love how my hair just stands up when I hear a great voice or watch the beautiful colors painted in the sky by somebody out there. I love the way fresh coffee smells in the morning when everything else is asleep and the warm feeling my heart gets when somebody gives me a big hug or smiles back at me. I love to stay alone in a coffee shop and read a good book and smile at strangers. I love to be weird and awkward.

Start.

In the first moment I entered in my new city, in my new home I wanted to start screaming my lungs out and grab the first plain back home. The grey buildings that welcomed me, the communist shaped neighborhood and empty streets made my cry for hours cursing the moment I was so weak I decided to run away for good. I felt asleep hugging my stuffed animal and speaking with him about the stupid thing I was just making. Then the morning came and when I looked through the window I realized it was just me there and nobody else that knew who I was. I could disappear from the face of the earth in one second and nobody will ever know about that. I could die hit by a car and nobody will find out about that. Then somebody knocked at my door and I woke up from my dream and welcomed the first new, old friend in my life. The first time I meet Susana I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I ever meet. With her big baby blue eyes, little french nose and lips full of strawberries she seemed more like a figure of my imagination. Her English wasn’t so good so I stared at her for a couple of minutes before understanding that she was my flat mate and she just wanted to meet me. I think I scared her with my confused and dark glare cause she started to apologize from two to two words. Her silliness made me smile, my smile made her laugh so we decided to go have breakfast together and discover the city together. Shes said it was beautiful, I said I hated it.  That was one of the hundreds or thousands of days we would spent together.

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